Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
