so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
