Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
