Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
