I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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