Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize