A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
