I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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