can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
