when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
