dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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