At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
