so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
