O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
