in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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