Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
