i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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