1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
