she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
