Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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