she looked like the before picture.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
