I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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