Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
