opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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