I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
