Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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