he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
