I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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