That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
