yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
