Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
