You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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