i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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