Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
