How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
