He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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