I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
