I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
