Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
