If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
