Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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