I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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