so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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