This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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