He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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