I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
