Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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