Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
