and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i think my cat just said my name.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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