Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
